Big Red Orc

Day 4: Playground 7

2007-06-26T12:03:00.000-07:00

What? You say it no Day 4? I say you lie. Time very different in Azeroth, sun go up and down many times in single day, you not astronaut Draenei, you not know!

Me come to you, to tell you of intense Fel Orc playground, Playground 7. Little Fel Orcs go through intense training, we club each other and beat up lazy peons. We play 'Zug & Zug', where one Fel Orc says 'Zug!' and other Fel Orc say 'Zug!' Me hear you have game called 'Marco Polo' it kind of same thing, except we play in lava and not water. Water is for sissies, that what they tell me. That why there no water in Hellfire. They say "If it too hot in Hellfire, get out of the lava." Me say that make sense.

We also play games like 'Jump-Rock', it like jump-rope, but we dodge giant rocks being thrown at us. If you get hit with rock, you lose game, maybe limb or two, but that make us hardy warriors. We also play 'Hopscorch', you throw severed Draenei head and then jump across hot coals on barefeet where head lands.

That all for today, me have good memories about Playground 7. Bring tear to eye.

Zug!

Zug!

Day 3: Spaceship

2007-06-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

There no much to say. Me "surfin' teh intarwebz", me think. Me not sure how you surf intarwebz, me try best but there no water in Hellfire. Me try to go Zangarmarsh, and they say "No!" and then me hit with blackjack like lazy peon. It hurt, and me no like angry Orc Captain.

Me get back to point. Me found picture of creature, it cute creature, remind me of Ravager, but furry, and less spikey. But, it give me message of doom. It says "I'M IN UR SPACESHIP STEALING UR GRAVITY." Me not sure what to do. Me building secret spaceship like big blue people to get away from here. Me hear they have nice place at other side of Dark Portal, but they no let me go there. They very mean to me at gate, me say "Me no demon!" and they say, well, they say nothing, but they stab me with pointy sticks and me run away before me dead, like talented Paladin me see, but with no glowy bubble shields.

Me very distressed, me not sure what to do with no gravity. Me ask you kind furry ravager, please give gravity back? Please? (:-[)

Zug Zug

Day 2: Still Hungry

2007-06-20T11:50:00.001-07:00

This thing working? It ask me to hit any key to continue, and me not sure where any key is. So me just eat apple key, it no taste like apples. It remind me of that cereal we eat at the cafeteria, 'Apple Chunks'. No taste like apples.

Me found picture of me that me got drawn at Hellfire Festival Faire, it was just before me go into gnome tossing competition and win the gold for team 'Rocks for Brain'. Oh, fine fine, you no believe me that me have fancy epic armours? You just jealous.

Me need to go back to Ramparts now, somebody yelling for me to heal them. Maybe me use bandages, me not sure, me haven't used first aid for long time. Dr. Orc reporting for duty!

Zug Zug

Day 1: Me Hungry

2007-06-19T07:12:00.001-07:00

Me so Hungry. Me try to eat this board with letters, but instead it seem like me talking to other people on the 'intarwebz'. Me just lowly peon, but me big and red. Me keep track of life in Hellfire Peninsula for you.

Zug Zug